Thursday, January 3rd, 2019
If you want to find love in 2019 it really helps to know your dating habits. Are you too judgmental, writing off good men/women for all the wrong reasons, instead of giving someone a chance. Are you too soft on the “complex” ones who can’t or won’t connect, too indulgent of the self centred and (heaven help us!) tolerant of those poor creatures whose lives are far too busy for them ever to be able to give you enough attention.
Real commitment is pretty scary and you may be running away from it without realising it. Although emotionally unavailable people can seem exciting and challenging at first, ultimately they are wasting your time and sapping your energy. Available people generally take longer to know, which may feel like hard work, but their goals are longer term and importantly, include YOU!
Try giving someone a second chance and don’t dismiss them after a first date as you haven’t got to know them. Meet for a coffee so you can talk and find out a little about each other. A cool, clear head is your best friend when dating: alcohol and staying out into the wee small hours can push you towards risky decisions you might later regret.
Don’t expect to develop a close friendship overnight. Infatuation can be exciting but not the best judgement tool…….take your time and think slowly, slowly get to know me in your head instead.
Rather than focusing on the person you fancy the most, focus on shared values. Avoid playing games and don’t be unrealistic or superficial. If you decide that someone is not a match before you have even met them, especially if it is about looks, the only person that limits is YOU. Preferences are fine, but remember, they are based on your old dreams, not your future! The only thing you need to ask is how your date makes you feel about yourself as a person. Do you feel comfortable? Do you share the same values? do you want the same things? And finally, can you laugh together?
If you think any of the above applies to you then hopefully this advice will help you find love in 2019.
Good luck and happy dating.