Getting back on the dating scene after divorce can be scary, not least because dating during a pandemic brings its own complications. Dating expert Karen Mooney shares some dating advice…
FAMILY & EDUCATION
Divorce is one of the most traumatic life events anyone can go through. Perhaps, you have been married for years, you have children and history together. Whatever the circumstances surrounding your divorce, make sure you are really ready to start dating again.
• Ask yourself a few questions, do you truly understand what went wrong in your relationship? Have you processed the events and learnt from them? Have you made as much peace as possible with your ex and the divorce?
• Dating when you are angry, negative or bitter doesn’t usually lead to good dating choices. If you join an agency to meet a partner where your potential dates were interviewed and have shown their ID, you can feel secure in knowing the people you are meeting are exactly who they say they are and are wanting similar things to you.
• If not, then enter the dating scene with your eyes firmly wide open. When meeting people, meet at a mutually convenient venue, don’t be afraid to ask your date questions about their life, their relationships and their expectations for the future.
• Never enter into a physical relationship until you feel ready, this firmly changes the dating dynamics for both sexes.
The lockdowns have made us all acutely aware of what we’ve been missing, but it’s also a chance to reflect on what really matters when you are getting to know someone. Those widely reported hours-long Zoom dates are a case in point – people have been saying how enjoyable it has been to talk and listen for that much longer, without the physical aspect. This is delayed gratification at work, similar to how courtships were conducted in the past, when romance was slower and no one took any steps towards intimacy until they were absolutely sure they wanted to.
After all, if you are genuine in your wish for commitment, investing time in the person you are dating should be a given. Relationships should never rush from 0-120mph in the first few dates: trust is key to compatibility and there is nothing to be gained from making yourself vulnerable just to satisfy some raging hormones. A slow reveal is much more interesting.
Karen Mooney is the founder and MD of Sara Eden Introductions, a personal introduction agency founded in 1988. Karen has appeared on numerous TV and radio shows, including BBC 1’s “Would Like to Meet”, BBC Breakfast, GMTV, Sunrise, Sky News, Lorraine and many more.