This is your most important consideration, if you want to have a deep and meaningful relationship with your partner. The space you create has to be for him/her alone. Success depends on you never, ever, sharing it with anyone else.
Take Your Time and Focus Your Full Attention
This will pay off. Relationships need nourishment, in the form of affirmation, and will require regular time and attention from you, every single day.
Not everyone is fond of public displays of affection and frankly they are not necessary. They aren’t aimed at your partner anyway: all you are actually doing is sending a message to those around you – that you are one of the lucky ones – that they probably won’t want to receive. The affection your partner will thrive on is that which occurs in private and requires your undivided attention to be really effective.
Listen without Speaking
Listening well is an art. If you can stop speaking and concentrate on listening instead, even for short periods, you will find yourself able to understand much more of what is being said to you. It takes practice, but is worth all your effort.
Develop Some Rituals
Routine is a dull but necessary aspect of life, the structure that takes care of the day to day and is something we all live with to a greater or lesser extent. Rituals in a romantic relationship, however, are something quite different: they enable you to bond and importantly rebond whenever things become fractious. Simple and small rituals are useful as touchstones whenever you need to restore closeness. They are calming, due to their familiarity and personal to the two of you. What they actually are is up to you. If you see something with the potential to become one of your rituals, reinforce it by repetition to embed it. Other than that there is nothing else to do, except use them!
You might fear that you will have to give up some of the things you do now to accomplish this – you won’t. These tips are less about time than they are about intention and you can only win by acting on them.
© Angela Wheatley Senior Consultant, Sara Eden 29/12/2020