When looking for love, playing hard-to-get may really work. Pretending not to be interested in a potential partner to increase your desirability is gaining some scientific support: A new study suggests that if you want a serious relationship, it pays for men and women to be hard-to-get.
According to the research, one potential benefit of playing hard-to-get is attracting a higher-quality mate with the greatest level of commitment for a long-term relationship. In the study, published in the European Journal of Personality, to determine how and why people play hard-to-get and if or when it works in attracting a mate.
In one test, they identified the ways people play hard-to-get and how often men and women use them. From a list of 58 strategies, nearly 500 American college students rated ‘acting confident’ and ‘talking to others’ as the two most commonly used methods of playing hard-to-get. But there were slight differences in strategies between the sexes. When women acted coy they tended ‘not to call,’ ‘not to talk a lot,’ and ‘to stay busy,’ more than men did. When men wanted to appear less available, they used only three methods more than the women did including ‘acting snooty or rude’ and ‘saying all the right things but not calling,’.
Not surprisingly to anyone who’s been single, researchers found that women played hard-to-get more often than men did. “Women derive more benefit from playing hard-to-get because it allows them to test men out and increase the demand men place on them.”
Interesting it looks like dating the old fashioned way is returning.