This time last year, we would have thought it beyond possible and yet here we are again. The hamster wheel of life is on endless repeat and opportunities to meet new people can feel like a dream that is beyond reach. Change will come though, it is inevitable. Not knowing when that will be, even approximately, makes the present hard to bear.
Being Kinder to Yourself and Pass it On
What to do? There are still some good things coming out of this situation – for instance, third time round, having reviewed their attitudes previously, some people are ditching their inner critics and becoming more accepting of where and how they are at the moment.
This has got to be good news for daters who follow suit, because the kinder we are to ourselves, the better partners we will ultimately become. Incidentally this applies just as much to those who are seeking a romantic relationship, as it does to those who are in one already. By cutting yourself a little bit of slack and enjoying the glow that follows, you will become more relaxed, in tune with your own needs and more willing to be generous towards other people, foibles and all. If you find you can do this, you will also gain valuable insight into what actually matters and reduce the background noise of disappointment in all your relationships.
Avoid the Burden of Unrealistic Expectations
It’s the tension held onto when carrying the burden of unrealistic expectations that drives insistence on perfection. It narrows focus and options down to just the fairytale nothing-will-go-wrong magical world, where love is easy to win and keep. This is dangerous territory, as the fantasy that anyone can be perfect is not only unfair, but also boring. We learn and grow from the challenges and obstacles we face and perfect would leave us nowhere to go and a life without the joy of surprises. Flaws, mistakes, call them what you will, open up new possibilities and make us so much more interesting.
The Benefits of Embracing the Virtual World
Embracing a new way of dating has been a boon to many in these strange days. There was speculation during the first lockdown that Zoom dating was a poor second to face to face encounters, mainly because most people’s previous experience of virtual encounters was limited to video conferencing. Reading about how virtual dating has been enjoyed by so many and then hearing first hand the positive experiences of our clients, it is clear that it is here to stay, even after the pandemic has passed.
Generally it seems that the chance to get to know someone, without the usual distractions, particularly in the early stages, has been deemed a blessing, especially with the additional luxury of more disposable time. It has allowed people to enjoy the delights of a slower and deeper experience. In any relationship time is needed to reach the stage of trust, that feeling of being really at ease with someone, feeling safe and wanting to share the private and personal. Without the modern rush to intimacy, relationships seem to be developing on a much surer footing. Virtual dating is the contemporary answer to the age old challenge of finding love. Enjoy!
Angela Wheatley Senior Consultant Sara Eden