If, as statistics tell us, first messages to potential online dates rise by a third in Spring, it is surely the ideal time to look around for love in the real world.
Spring is all about new beginnings and there is generally a more light hearted feeling. Both in nature and personally it is also about growth and change. With the onset of longer days and warmer weather, opportunities for outdoor dining and walking, for instance, become tempting prospects. As we cast off those physical winter layers, at a psychological level this chimes with our inclination to shed the old and seek out the new and the fresh.
What does all this mean for you personally though?
At Sara Eden we consider Spring to be the ideal time to refresh of your dating strategy.
You can do this by intentional dating, whereby you adopt the intention to date ‘lightly’, without bringing the baggage of your past and you evaluate the quality and suitability of your matches as you go.
With regard to each person you date, ask yourself:
1 Do I feel my date is interested in me as a person? Does spending time with my date feel enjoyable/exciting?
2 Do I feel confident and at ease in their company? Do I want more time together?
3 Is my date hard working and financially responsible?
4 Do I trust my date?
5 Do I share my date’s values and aspirations for the future?
If your answers are all positive, then, thus far, this one is a keeper. Continue to get to know them.
If any of your answers are negative, then it is wise to dig deeper within yourself to ascertain whether you have unconsciously projected past anxieties or unrealistic expectations onto your date. Remind yourself of your intention to date ‘lightly’ and you will shift your energy and your outlook in a more positive direction. You may realise that you need to work on yourself at this stage. Speak to Sara Eden if you would like expert advice.
Negative responses from you at this stage can also signal that you are simply not a good match. Put your ego to one side – you have not failed, but you have yet to succeed, so move on.
By following this advice, you will have cast your usual wish list aside with no pain and plenty of gain: you are now able to date the right people for you, because you have stopped focusing on the superficial (looks, height, money, car etc) and are utilising your core values to see what really matters. With this approach you will succeed.
How about that for Spring cleaning..