Self-knowledge is a such great thing. If you have managed to complete your reflection period and reach a greater understanding of yourself, the new you will be ready to forge ahead and consider the next step – exploring the new attitudes and behaviors you want to focus on. This is important and time consuming, but without proper attention you risk undoing the progress you have made. This is self-care and worth every minute. Life works best as a balance between what others demand of you and what you need in order to be truly happy.
The approach that will help you achieve your goals is one of mindfulness, which in this context requires that you:
- Stay in the moment
- Listen – to yourself and others
- Observe – your own and other people’s behavior; make a study of body language, it’s the great giveaway.
As you do all of this you will be learning and absorbing what is actually going on and you will gain some insight into how other people see you – the signals you send might turn out to be somewhat different to the ones you wish to convey. How do you hold yourself? If you feel uncertain do you fold your arms for instance? Do you make eye contact? Do you creep into a room, do you ‘arrive’ or is it something in between? Okay, what impact do you want to make? Once you have decided (a split-second decision, no longer) you should go for it.
Your response to this heightened awareness changes the perception of those around you and can foster increased interest and curiosity in who and how you are. If you want to be more approachable, then decide to be just that. If you want to foster higher regard, act accordingly. It’s not for others to give you these things – it’s for you to earn them.
If you have been unused to earning in this way it might not sit comfortably at first and it may help to ask yourself whether or not you deserve what you are seeking. If not, why not? What can you do to make yourself feel more worthy? Life is a work in progress – we can all improve and we should. Believe in your own potential.