The Cost Of Loving.

Monday, June 15th, 2020

We’ve been mired in our current situation for long enough to be able to take stock. It’s time to consider what has changed for the better during lockdown, now that restrictions are being lifted, so that we can carry the best of it forward.

Firstly, look back and recall how much you were spending on dating prior to the pandemic on making that all important first impression. Those of you who are bemused by the idea of spending anything or making any sort of effort now have a chance of redemption, so do read on…..If you are dating remotely, how does that previous expense compare to what you are spending now? All you need today is a laptop, wifi and a takeaway. You still need to dress for the occasion, but it’s okay to raid your own wardrobe.

Wow that’s some saving.

The most important thing now is what you say – there are many reports online of Zoom dates lasting six hours or more – that is quite a lot of uninterrupted conversation. What you’re doing when you focus on talking privately to one other person for that long is bound to feel much deeper than dinner in a busy restaurant with a background of constant bustle and distraction. This deep talking is one of the building blocks of promising relationships and if you engage in it you’re seizing the opportunity to make an impact that could last, so well done you. Of course you won’t ‘connect’ with everyone and you shouldn’t hope to, but you are making an effort and that is what counts most in our strange times.

There’s no kissing and indeed no sex at the moment. Feelings about this will inevitably be divided, but humans are hardwired to build trust and develop emotional attachments slowly, so whether you agree or not, this is good for you! Moving quickly towards physical intimacy may be tempting, but it may also come at a cost if you haven’t dedicated enough time to getting to know each other first. It’s often when feelings start to sour.

So, maybe it’s not been that bad being in lockdown. Every cloud and all that…..

Karen X